Music is really important for me and with good reason. I play an instrument and have actual music taste instead of just listening to whatever's on the radio or the top 100 on spotify. I didn't always have this connection though. In my younger years I listened to all kinds of shit, mostly NPC music, (basically radio music, but the people who listen to it think it's "unique" like it's true Norwegian black metal or some shit(a really brutal and underground metal scene in 1980's Norway)) or whatever I thought was cool. It was like this until I realized that my music taste was shit. Like really shit. So I started listening to actual cultured music. I Found the Police . One of the best pop rock bands ever. I still listen to their songs and still know every word to classics like "Don't Stand So Close To Me" and "Message In a Bottle". I also found Sting . Sting's one of my favourite singers ever. I know some good songs of his too like...
OK. I'm depressed blah blah blah... But how do I fix it? Is a really good question that I had to ask myself a while ago. And... I don't got shit. Next question that I had to ask myself was: Do you want it to change? And this is where I realized that... I don't. Listen I don't want to change because this has just become... Normal. I've been this self-loathing selfish ass that it's become normal in a sense. I don't mean like, everyday normal, I know it's wrong but I've grown used to hating myself. And now I'm forced to change and it feels weird. I still feel like shit.